my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize