i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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