I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
