I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize