her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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