dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
