dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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