This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
