dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
