Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
