so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
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Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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