She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
