okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
