Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
