Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
