I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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