Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
