ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
