Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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