Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
