My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
