I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
smell my finger.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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