1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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