do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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