So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Someone shit on the floor
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
