Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the liver wants what the liver wants
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
