How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
