Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
