Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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