mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
third nipple confirmed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
