Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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