i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
