I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
