So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
