Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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