Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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