he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
