1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also, beer. Big fan.
MIDGETS
????
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
