Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
where are my eyebrows?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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