but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
