Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
