idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
