can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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