I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
