I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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