Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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