he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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