i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
