I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You're like the curious george of whores
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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