I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
