I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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