I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
