and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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