i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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