i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
