i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize