how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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