dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
